Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Like Minded Couples. . . no thanks!

So Maxx turns 50 in a few years & since I'm currently doing a medical study where I'm locked up all weekend that gives me hours on end to think of random things (like writing this blog). Last weekend I thought that if Maxx & I really focus & start being a little smarter w/ our money & get out of a lot of our debt (which thank goodness isn't THAT bad), then we could maybe take a dream vacation for his 50th. Now those of you that really know us know that we have a long list of things to take care of but 3 years is a pretty long time & I'm optimistic.

Although we've talked about hanging out in hammocks on the beach before I never actually thought it would be a vacation that we would take ever. We've seriously considered Disney before but 50 deserves something a little more relaxing than Disney. Tropics it is! So I start googling. Now all I know about planning a vacation is this: you have to plan them. Anytime Maxx & I have gone anywhere it's always been pretty much planned out for us to where all we have to do is get there. So thinking about an actual vacation is a little mind boggling to me not only because of the actual planning part but because I have absolutely no idea about where to go.

I'm glad that I didn't think about planning vacations 20 years ago as that would have caused extreme stress for a 10 year old. I probably would have dug up all the brochures from McDonalds in Branson & we would be thinking about spending a week w/ the Baldknobbers eating at Mike's Mexican Restaurant. But when you're 10 you also don't think oh in 20 years I won't have to worry about planning a vacation cause we'll have the internet and it'll be a lot easier. At least I didn't think that. Maybe I'll start telling kids I know that they don't have to worry about planning a vacation because in 20 years there will be something way cool that we can't even imagine yet something with a name like SpinEarth that kicks the internet's butt.

We have friends whom between them have been to several different tropical locations so I start there. Now to me if I'm going with my husband on an island vacation & we don't have kids I don't really want to be around kids. This seemingly should be an easy task to accomplish except for most of the resorts I was coming upon were 'family friendly'. I love kids, but if I'm on vacation I do not picture waking up at 6 am to the sounds of screaming 5 year olds running down the hall to the pool. Nor do I want to have to worry about waking up someone's 2 year old when Maxx & I are getting back from dancing till 3 am.

What I envision my vacation like is sleeping till 9:30 ordering room service for breakfast consisting of Eggs Benedict, Mimosa's, and a variety of mango, papaya, and pineapple that we eat on our balcony overlooking the ocean. We would then make our way down to the beach and bask in the sun on our hammock till lunch. On my vacation everyone is just tan enough that their skin looks like it's embedded with gold. The men all wear light linen pants & women are dressed in airy sundresses. Feet are encased sprightly in flip-flops until the evening dance party when everyone changes into a more fitting evening attire still with the most slinky & sheer island feel.

Back to trying to find a resort. Since I'm having no luck I decide to shoot for 'Adult Resorts' while googling. The first several I come across are targeted to spring breakers. Another thing that I would highly despise on vacation is being surrounded by hundreds of barely legal kids doing cannon balls 24/7. Finally I think I hit the jackpot. I find a couple resorts which are both adult only & don't cater to the spring breakers. As I'm reading the descriptions I come to the point that states they have a secluded nude beach.

Now I'm big on people being naked, but don't get naked in front of me. I have absolutely zero desire to get nude in the presence of a couple hundred strangers. If you wanna get naked then by all means run around the house nude, sunbathe in your backyard where you're protected by a privacy fence, heck even get naked in the shower for all I care! You know that if you're naked in front of strangers then they're gonna be talking about peoples nakedness. And they're not even going to be talking about the things that you think they would be. It's going to be things like "Did you see how much hair that guy had between his shoulder blades? Gross" or "Look you can't tell if that lady's mole is a mole or a bad tattoo of Elvis." No thanks I'll pass.

Not only is it bad enough that they have a nude beach it then goes on to say that these resorts have nightly activities for 'like minded couples'. That kinda made me throw up a little in my mouth. First of all 'like minded' is not a term that can be used without sounding redundant. You don't say "I go to Church with like minded people" or "I workout with like minded women" If I were to tell you that Maxx & I were going on a double date with our best friends who are like minded as us I give you full permission to think that we are swingers. I might even wonder if we're swingers if I said that. So you KNOW that that's what these resorts are gearing too. Ahhhh!!!! That's so wrong and disgusting, and even if there were a way to stay at one of these resorts while avoiding all the like-mindedness I wouldn't be able have dinner without worrying someone was going to talk to us.

And I want to be able to talk to people on vacation, in fact I'm hoping that if our best friends don't go with us then we'll meet some cool couple who have been there the previous 5 years and know all the in's and out's or the resort. We'll have dinner with them 3 times during the week, but they won't be annoying like the couple Ben & Katie Jordan meet while in Italy in The Story of Us.

By this point of my research I'm starting to think that maybe Disney would be relaxing enough. Then I found my lifesaver a beautiful 4 star resort located on the sands of St. Lucia. The allure of this particular resort includes it being all inclusive, adorned with hammocks, split into two wings one adult only & one family oriented, we can even fly out of Springfield! That's unheard of & you know there won't be any swinger action going on if they have kids next door. Plus it's a price that I believe in about 3 years Maxx & I might be able to afford. (I know prices are going to change but I'm talking about a general idea.) So now it's time to get busy and start saving. Personally for me it's a lot easier to save towards a vacation in St. Lucia than it is to save to get our Grand Wagoneer back on the road but the car must be done first, soooo here we go wish us luck! Hopefully soon you'll be seeing me drive the good old Woody again . . . but not in a swingerish way.