Like Minded Couples. . . no thanks!

So Maxx turns 50 in a few years & since I'm currently doing a medical study where I'm locked up all weekend that gives me hours on end to think of random things (like writing this blog). Last weekend I thought that if Maxx & I really focus & start being a little smarter w/ our money & get out of a lot of our debt (which thank goodness isn't THAT bad), then we could maybe take a dream vacation for his 50th. Now those of you that really know us know that we have a long list of things to take care of but 3 years is a pretty long time & I'm optimistic.

Although we've talked about hanging out in hammocks on the beach before I never actually thought it would be a vacation that we would take ever. We've seriously considered Disney before but 50 deserves something a little more relaxing than Disney. Tropics it is! So I start googling. Now all I know about planning a vacation is this: you have to plan them. Anytime Maxx & I have gone anywhere it's always been pretty much planned out for us to where all we have to do is get there. So thinking about an actual vacation is a little mind boggling to me not only because of the actual planning part but because I have absolutely no idea about where to go.

I'm glad that I didn't think about planning vacations 20 years ago as that would have caused extreme stress for a 10 year old. I probably would have dug up all the brochures from McDonalds in Branson & we would be thinking about spending a week w/ the Baldknobbers eating at Mike's Mexican Restaurant. But when you're 10 you also don't think oh in 20 years I won't have to worry about planning a vacation cause we'll have the internet and it'll be a lot easier. At least I didn't think that. Maybe I'll start telling kids I know that they don't have to worry about planning a vacation because in 20 years there will be something way cool that we can't even imagine yet something with a name like SpinEarth that kicks the internet's butt.

We have friends whom between them have been to several different tropical locations so I start there. Now to me if I'm going with my husband on an island vacation & we don't have kids I don't really want to be around kids. This seemingly should be an easy task to accomplish except for most of the resorts I was coming upon were 'family friendly'. I love kids, but if I'm on vacation I do not picture waking up at 6 am to the sounds of screaming 5 year olds running down the hall to the pool. Nor do I want to have to worry about waking up someone's 2 year old when Maxx & I are getting back from dancing till 3 am.

What I envision my vacation like is sleeping till 9:30 ordering room service for breakfast consisting of Eggs Benedict, Mimosa's, and a variety of mango, papaya, and pineapple that we eat on our balcony overlooking the ocean. We would then make our way down to the beach and bask in the sun on our hammock till lunch. On my vacation everyone is just tan enough that their skin looks like it's embedded with gold. The men all wear light linen pants & women are dressed in airy sundresses. Feet are encased sprightly in flip-flops until the evening dance party when everyone changes into a more fitting evening attire still with the most slinky & sheer island feel.

Back to trying to find a resort. Since I'm having no luck I decide to shoot for 'Adult Resorts' while googling. The first several I come across are targeted to spring breakers. Another thing that I would highly despise on vacation is being surrounded by hundreds of barely legal kids doing cannon balls 24/7. Finally I think I hit the jackpot. I find a couple resorts which are both adult only & don't cater to the spring breakers. As I'm reading the descriptions I come to the point that states they have a secluded nude beach.

Now I'm big on people being naked, but don't get naked in front of me. I have absolutely zero desire to get nude in the presence of a couple hundred strangers. If you wanna get naked then by all means run around the house nude, sunbathe in your backyard where you're protected by a privacy fence, heck even get naked in the shower for all I care! You know that if you're naked in front of strangers then they're gonna be talking about peoples nakedness. And they're not even going to be talking about the things that you think they would be. It's going to be things like "Did you see how much hair that guy had between his shoulder blades? Gross" or "Look you can't tell if that lady's mole is a mole or a bad tattoo of Elvis." No thanks I'll pass.

Not only is it bad enough that they have a nude beach it then goes on to say that these resorts have nightly activities for 'like minded couples'. That kinda made me throw up a little in my mouth. First of all 'like minded' is not a term that can be used without sounding redundant. You don't say "I go to Church with like minded people" or "I workout with like minded women" If I were to tell you that Maxx & I were going on a double date with our best friends who are like minded as us I give you full permission to think that we are swingers. I might even wonder if we're swingers if I said that. So you KNOW that that's what these resorts are gearing too. Ahhhh!!!! That's so wrong and disgusting, and even if there were a way to stay at one of these resorts while avoiding all the like-mindedness I wouldn't be able have dinner without worrying someone was going to talk to us.

And I want to be able to talk to people on vacation, in fact I'm hoping that if our best friends don't go with us then we'll meet some cool couple who have been there the previous 5 years and know all the in's and out's or the resort. We'll have dinner with them 3 times during the week, but they won't be annoying like the couple Ben & Katie Jordan meet while in Italy in The Story of Us.

By this point of my research I'm starting to think that maybe Disney would be relaxing enough. Then I found my lifesaver a beautiful 4 star resort located on the sands of St. Lucia. The allure of this particular resort includes it being all inclusive, adorned with hammocks, split into two wings one adult only & one family oriented, we can even fly out of Springfield! That's unheard of & you know there won't be any swinger action going on if they have kids next door. Plus it's a price that I believe in about 3 years Maxx & I might be able to afford. (I know prices are going to change but I'm talking about a general idea.) So now it's time to get busy and start saving. Personally for me it's a lot easier to save towards a vacation in St. Lucia than it is to save to get our Grand Wagoneer back on the road but the car must be done first, soooo here we go wish us luck! Hopefully soon you'll be seeing me drive the good old Woody again . . . but not in a swingerish way.

I don't get it

It started with Monica letting me know that our high school class had a myspace page to try and get a reunion set up. That meant I had to join myspace, then I had to join facebook for some reason that I no longer remember (even though it was just yesterday). Now I can see the benefit of being on both sites to connect with old friends and whatnot. But this morning I come up to check my e-mail and I have like 10 friend requests for facebook, which is great I like being friends. So I add those and then it's like "hey you might know these people" so I add those people. Then it's like "Joshua battled Kelly with his Torture Deamon the Third" WHAT?!?!?! WHY?!?!? And it's a whole list, "Kelly fought back with her Ninja Princess" I thought facebook was a little better than myspace because you didn't have all the "Can you beat my Disney Movie Quiz Score" things that take up 30 feet of your page. But upon going to someone's page I see that they have a plethera of "gifts" and "fantasy characters" and other, I'm sorry but, crap. So I'm a little confused. Who has the time? I mean really, it took me like an hour to add my friends and friends of friends, plus I had to look up the Golden Girls theme song on top of that. I'm exhausted and still need to shower. I think Noel said it best when he said "Yay! Facebook sucks... it takes up time, connects you to friends you've lost long ago, and everything else. I love it." I'm possibly a little scared for myself, what if I get spun into the world of creating my own characters, and constantly updating my myspace mood and next thing I know it's 3 a.m. and I haven't taken the dog out to pee. That would be a bad dream, like when you dream that you're getting ready for something and you can't find what you want to wear and then you totally miss out on whatever it was. So I don't get it, and I don't think I want to get it. By all means though please let me know when you have a baby, or move, or get married, but I don't need to know how much money you'd pay for me if I were your pet, or what kind of rockstar I am or any of the other usless things someone has taken time to create for other people to pass along. I don't even want to take time to add songs to my myspace, or photos of my life. It's my life, I'm Janelle, married to Maxx, have a dog Aspen, and work for myself. There that's the just of it, if you want to talk e-mail me, or better yet call me. Let's meet for coffee. I'd much rather meet for coffee dressed up as a vampire and play Skip-bo than waste 2 hours battleing each other back and forth online as our "Demon Selfs". On to happier thoughts:

So I wake up this morning and the coffee pot is still on and the coffee is still hot which is awesome. Then for my second cup I have to microwave it, but I do it for too long so I have to put ice in it to cool it down. I need my coffee at the perfect temp, I want it to be hot but not hot enough to burn my tongue and I want it to stay hot long enough to finish my whole cup (which is usually less time than it takes to smoke a cigeratte). For some reason I need to have some cigeratte left after the coffee is gone, it's like my blankey of adulthood and very comforting to me. I think they should make a programable coffee maker where you can enter in the temp you would like your coffee brewed at. Say 101 degrees for instance. It shouldn't be that hard to do, and I have no idea what 101 degree coffee would be like, that might be extremely hot to drink so I guess it would be a little trial and error, but none the less.

We're Off to the BAHAMAS

I'm soooo freakin excited!!! One of the fabulous perks of being a distributor with Slumber Parties is that anyone who reaches 65,000 in retail sales over the course of a year gets awarded with a wonderful cruise for two to the Bahamas. . . totally FREE!!! I'm on course to getting this award next year and what a wonderful gift it will be. I have my parties mapped out and my sales goals all set, and by looking at the numbers this is something that will be VERY EASY FOR ME TO OBTAIN. I want to ask all of you to keep me in mind if you know someone getting married or need a gift for an anniversary, birthday or anything. Maybe you know someone who just had a baby, why not get her a gift to pamper herself like our luxurious Slumber Bubbles, and some Body Dew after shower moisturizer. We REALLY do have something for everyone. Not to mention all the great lingerie that would be perfect for a bride to be.

Plus Maxx and I are headed to New Orleans the first weekend in April for the Slumber Parties National Convention. We'll be there for 4 days and based on my sales in 2007 I got convention credits to spend. So starting May 1st 2008 I will have my own personal website, that's right I putting some of my credits to my own website which is normally $200/year. But Slumber Parties is taking care of the cost for a year for me. That means you'll be able to log on and order anything you want, pay with your credit/debit card and have the products delivered right to your door. This year is off to a fantastic start and I can't wait for all the great things to come in the future!!!!!

In A Long Time

There are only a few things that make me mad in this world. For one when I order a dollar chicken sandwich from McDonald's and specify Mayonnaise only and they proceed to give me a "double checked for accuracy" chicken sandwich with mayonnaise with lettuce. But along with the other things that make me angry nothing is so big or massive that it's not worth laughing at.

Although one thing which really upsets me is when people start their own blog and then go weeks even months without paying any attention to it. Which is where I'm at. I have totally ignored the story I had started which is about Maxx and myself and our wonderful life together. And now it's almost Christmas, last entry Halloween.

So to make up for this I'm going to let you all in on a few things I've learned while doing Christmas shopping this year.

1. There are three classifications of parking spots. We all know the Rock Star spot, the one that's right next to the door or at the front of the aisle. Then there's the Future Rock Star spot these are mid range spots you get, don't worry you're still pretty good at the game of parking but there are those who have mastered it better. And finally there's the State Fair Runner Up. Most popular at Target, these spots are at the end of the lane. Like the real thing these in some circumstances can be better than Rock Stars this is because with a State Fair Runner Up you don't have to worry about all the people surrounding your vehicle as you're backing out plus you get a little extra exercise in.

2. I LOVE Overstock.com. Last year I bought Maxx and myself some clothing that was SUPER inexpensive so this year I decided to look again. While I can't reveal my purchases at this time let me just say that I got $650 worth of gifts for less than $150. And the items are the real deal they aren't knock offs or you don't get something that is a crap version of what you expected. Plus they have EVERYTHING. Okay maybe not the Wii that Monica and Ben just got but EVERYTHING else. Definitely worth looking into next year. Plus shipping is always $2.95 and like every other day around Christmas it's free.

3. When doing online shopping you can save even more with coupon codes. Now there are a lot of websites out there that "promise" to save you money, even the ones featured on the Today show suck bottles. Most of them are badly designed and give you advertisements instead of coupons. But there's one that's the King of them all. RetailMeNot.com is not only nicely designed but it's simple all you do is type in the website you're wanting a coupon for (like Sephora.com). You're then shown the featured discounts that site is offering currently followed by coupons with their codes AS WELL AS the success rate of the coupon. I've found that any coupon with a "green" success rate (above 60%) is pretty good to go. Lower ratings are iffy but still worth trying. Using this website I was able to save an additional $60 on my purchases.

4. It's nice to get people things that fit their personality. As Noel and Celeste mentioned Gifts.com has a personality profiler which is great. I've found that if you search enough sites you will eventually find the ONE site that has the perfect gift. (DISCLAIMER: The gifts you are about to read about are not the gifts being given so if you're a person mentioned I'm not spoiling it for you.) Example: I stumbled on the site PerpetualKid.com and upon browsing found numerous items I loved. They had a really cool Bowling Clock which would be perfect for Jason and Humidor Cologne by Demeter which would be nice for Noel. With just a little time I was able to find two great gifts with out having to do anything other than being patient until I found the right site.

5. PerpetualKid.com got me wondering around the internet for other sites with unusual gifts. I figured I could find something kitschy and cool for everyone on our list. So I started googleing things like "unique gifts". Here's where I did something I'm not so proud of. Although some sites came up that were worthy of my time I quickly realized that I was becoming addicted to the possibility of the next site having something really cool. A couple of hours passed I was somewhere with a name like UncleBobsBarnofGagsGifts.com looking at the 20th Pooping Reindeer I had seen and realized I had crossed the thin line of looking for unique gifts and wasting my time on sites that had NOTHING I was going to be interested in.

6. There's a simple way to tell you need to use your "back" button on the internet. That is if you go to a site that has amongst their categories of products a section listed as Adult Novelties or Toys for Women. It's not good. You don't want to do your Christmas Shopping anywhere that sells an inflatable moose head, pooping reindeer, and vibrators all in one stop. I made the mistake so you don't have too. And to everyone on our Christmas list don't worry no presents were purchased from said sites.

7. Finally it's amazing all that I'm able to do this Christmas. Labor Day weekend Maxx and I realized that we HAD to quit spending money on alcohol and going out. Although we had said this many times we have really stuck to it. With this change not only are we both SUPER productive now the blessings being given to us are amazing. I am busier with parties than I've ever been. Both November and December were great and I am booked every day in January that I'm not at the Dr's office with the exception of 3. Plus my Saturdays are gone into March and I have parties into April. This is only because we decided to stop ignoring our lives and start being honoring of the God Spirits that we are which is much easier done when you don't buy beer half the week. Maxx is also busier at the salon and we're very much enjoying being at home with each other more often. I'm glad we FINALLY made this much needed change in our lives and we would like to thank all of you who had prayed for us over the course of time. Our lives are wonderful as are all of our family and friends. This Holiday season the number one thing I've learned is that it's absolutely fantastic to be an adult be married to your best friend and love daily all of the wonderful things God and the Universe manifest into our lives. Enjoy each other and please above all REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE.

Have a wonderful Holiday and hopefully I'll write again before Memorial Day.

A note to non-enthusists

The following post originally aired on www.thegreengiants.com September 27th, 2007. I enjoyed it so much I decided to "Ctrl C" "Ctrl V" it to our blog. (Maxx that's how you copy and paste.) Being as I am the writer I hope no one tries to pin me with plagiarism. For those of you who have read it a new one's on the way, for those of you who haven't there's still time to shop for a costume, or at the least start planning for next year.

The grand old time of year we like to call Halloween is quickly approaching and I would like to take a moment to address the rather small group of people who find it necessary to purchase a $10 t-shirt that says “I don’t do costumes”.

I realize that you probably fall into a “group” of social friends who may agree with you this holiday is one you outgrew once your parents quit dressing you. However you view yourself, whether it be skater, preppy, goth, nerd, loner, busy working mom, real estate pro, business entrepreneur or one of the other labels amongst the myriad of choices I have a what may be shocking announcement for you. Here goes:

If Halloween comes and you are not in costume we (the rest of the world) will know by the fact that you are not in costume that you “don’t do costumes”. It’s that simple, you can now feel free to take the $10 and put it towards a pocket protector, new stickers for your skate board, business card magnets (free @ vistaprint.com), or just get an iced breve from Starbucks and sit back watching the rest of us have fun.

See it’s that simple after all those of us who do dress up on Halloween don’t feel the need to go out and buy a t-shirt that states “I do costumes” which we would then wear over our costume. That would be pointless so why do the opposite?

One last note & this is how we really get you. One definition of the word “costume” is: a set of garments selected for wear at a single time; AH-HA, so this t-shirt that you’re buying to wear on Halloween is in turn what you dread the most A COSTUME!! How do you like that for your burgers? If it fits the requirements flip it over and start grilling. Hopefully the t-shirt designers will make one that says “I don’t do costumes, except for this shirt which I bought only for this evening making it a costume, so next year I should really put more thought to it like the Green Giants do”

Occurrences

This just occurred to me. Kinda like in a movie when one person knows what's going on and you as the viewer are "in the loop" but the other character doesn't know anything so from their perspective things are really funny to everyone, and again, I quote "in the loop". And Noel and Celeste if you did know this before hand then just make believe that you didn't because it's that imagination whether true or false that really makes this great. Maybe more like a classic episode of Seinfeld.

Yesterday and today were Patient Appreciation Days at the office. This meant yesterday any existing patient could bring in 3 non-parishible food items, to go to the Victory Mission and in turn get a free adjustment (approx a $35 value) today any new patient could bring the same and get a complementary consultation, exam, and any necessary x-rays (at most about a $250 value). We had been promoting this for over a month and while a good day for us is usually seeing 20-30 patients yesterday we saw 71. Each month it's our goal to see 20 new patients and today we beat that by 1. In addition to the complementary treatments we also decorated, had food, there was fun festive music and balloons everywhere, plus at any given time yesterday there were about 5-8 people just kinda hanging out.

In the midst of the celebration yesterday in walk Noel and Celeste. Now I'm just thinking hey there's Noel and Celeste, and although it was one of those moments when you want to say something like "Hey everyone it's Noel and Celeste!" I refrained. They popped in chatted said "Hi" to the Doctor and then left. This was normal for me because I, and if anyone has a different saying let me know, was "in the loop".

Just a few minutes ago it hit me that maybe Noel and Celeste didn't know that we were having Patient Appreciation Days. In that case, which I'm believing is the truth because it makes me laugh, their "out of the loop" movie view would have been something like this:

A hazy dream-like fog fills the screen and we see Noel and Celeste come into view driving from Barnes and Noble north on Glenstone.

Noel "Hey we should stop by and see Janelle at work"
Celeste "That's a great idea babe, let's do it"
Noel "She really likes working there, that's exciting. I really like designing web-sites that's exciting too. Didn't you go to a Chiropractor when you were a cheerleader"
Celeste "Yup, it was great. We should make hummus when we get home"
Noel "Mmmmm hummus. Yeah let's watch some Monk after church also, it's a good Monk day"
(turning into the parking lot)
Celeste "That's a funny roof, 417 should have us write a story on funny roofs we've seen"
Noel "I'll mention it to Greg tomorrow, I bet he'd go for it"
(walking in)
Janelle being surprised "Hey guys what are you doing?"
Noel "My back hurts"
Janelle "Really?"
Noel "No we were just around and thought we'd stop by and say hi"
Janelle "Oh good. Dr Falukos this is my brother"
Dr. Falukos "Hey Noel"
Noel "Hey"
Dr. Falukos "I saw your picture in 417"
Noel "Yeah we're gonna write a story on funny roofs for them"
Dr. Falukos "Mr. Price I'm ready for you"
Noel "Ok I guess we'll see you later"
Janelle "K Love you"
Noel and Celeste "Bye"
(leaving)
Noel "That was kinda like being in a Mexican Restaurant, that was salsa music playing right?"
Celeste "Yeah, I thought maybe I was having a weird dream"
Noel "No wonder Janelle likes her job so much if people just come, hang out and eat cookies and meatballs all day"
Celeste "My chiropractor never had balloon garland hanging everywhere in his office"
Noel "I bet it was Janelle's idea she was probably like 'hey Dr Falukos why don't we hang balloons everywhere and play loud music then we can serve food also".
Celeste "She should really have her own show"
Noel "I'm still excited about hummus"
(end)

So little did Noel and Celeste know that much more was going on than me just simply deciding to festive up the office. It was all part of a master plan. A master plan to make people who just walked in question, if only for a moment, "Have I entered the Twilight Zone?"

Follow Your Fears

In 1994 Nelson Mandela opened his inaugural speech by saying, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are more powerful beyond measure". This is and has been a very powerful statement in my life over the past few years and even more so over the past few weeks. As humans we get used to being knocked down whether we were the last to get picked for dodge ball, our parents got divorced, we suffered a loss of a loved one, we get used to pain in one form or another. More often than not we carry that pain into adult hood. Sure we're over being the last picked, or being made fun of, but we replace it with a variety of other things. Some choose over-spending, others it's dooming relationships from the start, or it might be sticking with a dead end job, drinking, being a bad friend, the list goes on and on.

We get used to the pain and we adapt, we learn how to find another relationship, pay bills if only the minimum, go to the job we dread, and continue on because we've been taught that you can't have it all. We've been taught that we have to settle and only deserve so much. That a dream is just that a dream it's o.k. to dream but realize that you'll wake up. You can wish upon a star but the stars will never be in your reach. It is so sad that as people we are taught this and we believe it.

We get scared to look for something better because that would mean change. We're afraid of change because what if we fail? It's often easier to stick with what we're doing than to grab hold of our fears by the hand and say "come on I'm in charge and by following you I'm going to make a difference". Maxx and I are going on two weeks w/o buying any alcohol, for those of you who know me and us this is a pretty big change. We realized that we were too comfortable with our pain and we also realized that we hadn't made any changes because we were fearful of giving up the pain that we had become so fond of however subconscious the fondness was. We also realized that it was going to take a drastic change and that we were going to have to be strong and make each other strong. So here we are, following our fear of not having pain.

I realize our situation does not apply to everyone. It's a universal truth it's hard to many things because we're AFRAID. We don't get the clients we deserve because we're afraid to approach people, we think "they might laugh at me or tell me no". So what? We're afraid of coming on too strong, or asking for the raise we know we deserve, or talking about something that's bothering us. This is crazy to me, what is it that makes some people "special" enough to be millionaire's and others not, how are some people happy no matter the circumstances and others not? The answer is they chased their fear, they realized they had to to what might be uncomfortable to be a better person. We are all beautiful beings made by a wonderful God who created us in His image. Once we realize that we don't have to live with pain and make the decision to proceed and make changes ridding our lives of what ever's holding us back it becomes easy to let the pain go and begin living our dreams.

Dreams do come true. Wish upon a star, we may not be able to physically touch it but our thought sends out millions of vibrations that reach it. We are capable of what ever we set our minds to, whether we want money, love, friends, health, it's all ours when we accept and expect it. It may take doing something physically uncomfortable and "following a fear" for some for others it may be more of an emotional journey in their thoughts and speech. We get what we expect and if we expect debt, illness, a bad job, or nonsupporting loved ones, that's what we get. On the other hand if we expect abundance, health, a career we love, and a great family, friends, and spouse that's what we get.

Nelson Mandela's speech went on to say, "It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Have a beautiful week, you deserve it!